All I want for Christmas can be had for only $5.99 plus tax. So many questions…

Which one is the smart one?

Does this mean that Chuck Norris is tougher than a fluffy mutt, but not as smart as a fluffy mutt?

Why oh why did this Hollywood gem go direct to DVD?

How many copies will the store let me buy on one transaction?

Can I give this to my in-laws?