Dear Wildman:

Girls are *not* complicated! How hard is it to say “You’re pretty” and give us chocolate?

Women are complicated.

Let me ‘splain. It’s complicated. Because, it doesn’t just involve the words and candy. It also involves timing. So, what makes women complicated is that you have to do the right things (which they’ve told you to do) at the right time (when it’s convincing and they don’t think you’re doing it because they told you to). Plus, you have to surprise them with the comments and chocolate – even though they know what’s coming and when.

Women are not complicated like golf is not complicated. Simple, yet requiring great skill. Oh, and your life could be in jeopardy if you mess up. So, I guess it’s more like playing golf with the devil with your eternal soul on the line.

Not complicated at all.


Except for you, Sarah, my sweet, pretty wife. Here’s some chocolate.


(Didn’t see that one coming, did you? Score.)