Let me count the ways. One. That’s all. Just one.
I do not judge a person based on race. I do not judge a person based on economic status, gender, nationality, or religion. I judge a person based on one factor and one factor only: Interestingness.
If you’re not unique, engaging, original, experienced, reflective, charming, or witty — if you’re not interesting — I have no time for you. It’s that simple.
Lest you think it is cruel to pass such judgement, I must remind you that lack of interestingness is a choice.
The Great Equalizer
Interestingness is not limited to the rich, famous, or intellectual. Interestingness is not dependent on age or ideology. Everyone has an equal chance to be interesting, to be fascinating, to be one-of-a-kind. You can be an interesting king, cab driver, or accountant.
Interestingness is the great equalizer.
True, the measure of who is interesting and who is not is entirely subjective. Wonderfully subjective. It’s a subjectivity that puts you to the test in every conversation and every situation. Interaction becomes more than an exchange of information. Or a chance to vent your emotions. Or a place to kill time with shallow small talk.
When you are an interesting person, every exchange is an opportunity: To inspire, engage, overwhelm, and imprint. To sketch a picture of the world and color it with your hard-earned perspective. It’s an opportunity to be unselfish. It’s an opportunity to hold another mind’s attention, to make another heart beat faster, to stir another action or reaction. It’s a chance to go off-script, off auto-pilot, and off the beaten path.
In other words, to be interesting.
Never Too Late
So, you’re not interesting? That’s ok. Being interesting doesn’t take much more time than you’re expending now but it will require your thought and attention. It’s never too late to start.
Read something other than the back of a cereal box. Avoid identifying with any group of people because you are too lazy to form your own opinions. Lean less on labels and stereotypes. Ask more questions.
Talk about yourself less. Listen more than you speak. Watch the news channel that you don’t agree with. Stop eating lunch alone. Take a walk and notice the details you’ve never seen.
Keep a journal. Volunteer. Take a different way to work. Explain what you believe to someone who doesn’t. Take a class, a trip, or a ride. Face a fear. Become an expert. Laugh at the unexpected.
In other words, become interesting.
I can’t wait.
I find your posting very interesting, in its own right! I find I judge people not on what they say, but what they do. People are always saying what they’ll do, or why they do things, but often they are not backing it up by what they are doing. I watch what people do around me, and that speaks so much louder than words. If someone says they are going to do something, and never show up to do it, then their words are meaningless. Their actions speak louder than their words. If someone doesn’t day they are going to do something, but they do it anyway, well that’s something you can trust. “Trust in what they do, not in what they say.” My wife and I constantly remind each other of this statement. And it helps in choosing your friends — it really does.
Thanks for the great blog post. Refreshing to get another take on this idea.
~darren.
sorry ’bout the typos
Well said! It’s easy to fall into the habit of waiting for life to come to you and make excuses for when it doesn’t rather than working hard to enrich the lives of others. Great reminder to talk less and live more!